No, I don't.
I just want money.
That's not the point of this post.
I mean, HONESTLY... I really hate evenings. I get so depressed at night.
I think that's why I drink so much. But I only had one beer today. And that was this evening before going with David B. to a sketchy part of town so that we could do some investigation. (His bike was stolen and then he saw a Craiglist listing for a similar bike... Turns out not to be his, though. Thankfully, I guess.)
But that's it.
I've gained so much weight thanks to my best friend---and worst enemy?!---beer.
I guess beer to me is what Heather Chandler was to Veronica.
No, that's harsh.
I just can't fit in my pants and underwear the same anymore.
And that ANNOYING pooch of my stomach. Ugh.
I digress.
I just start to get so lonely once the sun sets.
And I feel like I have no friends.
And it'd be different if I actually had some damn money. Then I'd have a bunch of friends named Bill. (I don't have any friends named Bill. Well, I have friends named William, but I don't call them Bill.)
(Omg, why is Dick a nickname for Richard?)
And if I had my own apartment and my own studio again...
God, I feel so trapped and bound.
And I know it's all my fault.
I'm so impulsive and moody.
I'm so upset.
I get like this every evening.
My life is very, very gay.
(Or for you politically correct readers: My life is very, very lame.)
Really makes me want to bury my head.
Like an ostrich.
UGH.
I didn't mean to complain, I'm sorry.
The point of this entry REALLY was to show you guys the results of the LOMO effects I used for some older photos I had. (Do you know what Lomography is? Look: HERE.)
The look of Lomo is really overdone in my opinion.
But I just wanted to fuck around with the effect I downloaded this evening.
I was bored.
Forgive me.
SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
11.29.07
This time I'm on time.
4real.
I love you.
So much.
My BFF (and best guy friend) Chris K. moved to Brooklyn (along with everyone else...) back in early September.
We still talk very often, though.
And I just sent him a package last week because he'd asked me to knit him some mittens (NON-fingerless). So, I did.
Anyway, every so often he'll leave me links to YouTube videos in the morning, while I'm probably still sleeping and before he leaves to work.
(And so my point IS...)
Today he left me this video.
I don't really consider myself a Daft Punk fan. I couldn't really tell you if a song I'm listening to is Daft Punk or not.
But you should probably watch this because I think it's pretty awesome.
(At first it seems like it's not going anywhere, but it GOES THERE!)
(I'm sorry I said "it GOES THERE!"...)
I spent about 5hrs last night trying to update my site.
You should check it out.
LIKE OMG CUBIST LITERATURE DOT COM!
I really hate web design. And I really hate HTML coding.
I like things that I can do while drunk (which includes most of the things in life, the things I hold dear to my heart).
But web design is totally tedious and boring.
Like 4 real.
Like... if you even want to know... just go to a website and right click and select "View Page Source".
Fucking boring.
So, today I made a goal for myself.
I said to myself, "Craig, you need to get up and make five girl germ protectors. And you need to photograph them. And you need to list them on Etsy. And you need to put the photos on Flickr. Craig, you MUST do this. You must prove to yourself that you are capable of making a goal for yourself, that you are capable of following through. Please. You need to do this, or I'll kill myself. Okay?"
And I did it.
Okay?
Here are some photos:
And so now I need to figure out what my goal for tomorrow is.
Also, I packaged a sale I made last night and a sale I made today.
(That's usually unheard of for me. I usually pack things once a week, which stresses me and makes me hate selling on the internet. But if you just do a bit at a time, it's not a big deal!)
Here are some photos I took the other day.
Gosh, I feel so bad right now.
Of course I drank too much (alone) last night to fill the void that is my life. So, there's the headache.
And then I slept on my arm in a bad way, so now it's killing me.
What dreams did I have?
Something along the lines of:
me living with my first roommate, Disneyworld employees, Super Mario Bros., amusement park rides, clocking out for work, my nephew.
1. I had a dream that I was on a talkshow hosted by Roseanne. And she had me do a duet (a truet? What do you call it when there are three people?) with her and Elton John. We sang "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction".
2. What sparked the events in that dream was what happened the night before in the dream: Lezzie and I went to a party that had karaoke. She went dressed outrageously and told people her name was Brad Pitt. (She was claiming to be the post-op Brad Pitt.)
She first told people this in a drive-thru line at Jack in the Box. (But for some reason we were standing in line.)
I wanted two tacos for 99c. And a Lipton iced tea. No sugar. The way I like it.
I went to the cashier lady and said, "I want two tacos. For 99cents."
(And it was this cashier lady that I first encountered in NYC at the Burger King across the street from Ground Zero. She was the MEANEST fast food employee I'd ever come across. She yelled at the customers if they didn't come get their food fast enough for her. And she was really mean to you when you ordered. Anyway, NOW she was almost sedated or something, wasn't mean at all. And now she was working at a Jack in the Box in some part of Houston I'd never been to before.)
I think Lezzie got jealous about my going on the Roseanne talk show to do that three-person duet.
3. OKAY. This one is for real.
Here are some photos I took yesterday when I went walking alone on the beach. I'm trying to figure out how to use the Minolta XD-5 my younger sister's fiance let me borrow.
I took the roll of film to the 1hr photo at CVS.
But I didn't get them until 2 and a half hours later.
So, I asked the girl, "You're not really going to charge me for 1hr photo processing, are you?"
And so she looked around to see if a manager was around, saw none, and then shook her head.
OH, I KNOW WHAT WOKE ME UP THIS MORNING...
(This can be the #4 we don't talk about or include in the title of this blog...)
**********PLEASE DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!**********
I woke up thinking about how gross coat hanger abortions are.
And I guess it was a sort of dream or something because there was this girl talking about how sometimes the baby comes out screaming, "No! MOMMY!" And she was talking about how sometimes you have to punch the baby until it's dead.
Ugh.
Gross.
Yesterday my father asked me if I believe in UFO's.
But when I hear that I think about unidentified flying object. An object that is flying that you cannot identify.
So, I asked him, "You mean, like extraterrestrial life?"
He replied yes.
I thought it was a random question.
But I figure there must be life on other planets and in other galaxies and such.
I mean, water was most likely brought here by an asteroid. And that probably started all this evolution of life on Earth.
So, maybe another asteroid with water on it has hit some other planet far away and started this whole chain of events, too. Of course any creatures that evolve would be different, according to the living conditions on that planet.
I don't know.
And THEN there is so much space in space that it just seems right that there'd be something else out there that is alive.
I always get weirded out when I see those pictures of all the different galaxies in space.
It depresses me.
I just realized that I cry when I'm really bored.
Like... REALLY bored. With nothing to do. And having no possibilities of doing anything, like knitting or something, at least.
I mean, I came to see my father for Thanksgiving. And dinner was nice and all.
But I haven't even done anything here except walk on the beach.
There's nothing to do on this shitbox island.
My father lives in a big studio apartment. But he's already in bed for the night. (IT'S NOT EVEN FUCKING 8:15PM!)
So, I'm sitting in the dark once again while he slowly drifts into that state of sleep that has him snoring like a bitch.
And he went fishing without me this morning. (He didn't think I could handle it early this morning because it was windy and cold and wet.)
So, I've been inside all day long.
On the internet.
But I didn't mind because I was working on a scarf.
But then I finished.
And I was fucking dreading that moment, too.
Because I knew I'd have nothing to do for the rest of the evening.
Except answer all the five million fucking questions my father's always asking me.
(I can't handle being asked a lot of questions in a small amount of time. You gotta space it out with me.)
So, when he got dressed for bed and turned out his light, I went to the bathroom and cried for a minute.
Pure frustration.
I want to go home.
And something bit me near my perineum, mostly upper thigh.
So, I keep having to scratch like crazy, but it looks like I'm adjusting my crotchal area or digging in my ass.
Anyway, sorry to complain.
I try to avoid doing that in this blog.
I don't want to COMPLAIN to you.
You should check out the treasury list I made on Etsy.
It's pretty hot.
NO SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
=(
I couldn't ever upload onto the internet the photos I took yesterday.
So, instead I'll write a short list of things I want for Christmas:
1. Canon Rebel XTi
2. season 4 of "Will and Grace" on DVD
3. a graphics tablet
4. a set of interchangeable circular needles
5. yarn store gift certificate (if that exists)
6. an Oktomat
Here is the "I know it won't happen list":
7. plane ticket to Brooklyn
Here is the "OMG I WISH BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN" list:
8. the chance to sleep with anybody I know without it getting awkward
9. one of those memory eraser thangz from "Men in Black"
10. a baby penguin that will take care of itself
I'M ALSO LOOKING FOR A "BUSINESS" PARTNER!
So, I'm sitting in the dark in my father's small place on Galveston Island.
I can't ever get used to the smell beach communities. Everything smells so fishy. And everything feels so damp.
But I guess I shouldn't complain.
I should be thankful I have a father who wants to see me and have me spend time with him for Thanksgiving.
But you know what?
I don't know if I'm even going to be able to do a SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY entry.
I mean, I took some photos a little bit ago, and I tried uploading them onto his computer. But I think his USB port is dead. And then I tried connecting his internet cord thang to my laptop, but that didn't work out either.
Damn damp, fishy Galveston.
I think I'm too fussy with my father.
Actually...
I'm just sort of a high strung, high maintenance sort of person.
And my father's pretty laid back.
So, I don't think he's used to some kid in his place having some sort of opinion about everything. And somebody who talks a whole bunch. (Well, it's been awhile since I've lived with him, so he hasn't been used to it LATELY.)
He's kinda like my mother, in that they both start to get pretty tipsy after only one beer.
God...
And these are people who've had like...five million beers in their lifetime.
So, tomorrow I think that we're going fishing.
I haven't been fishing with my father (or fishing in general) in forever.
We might fish on the jetties or take his kayaks out.
David B. said: "I can't imagine you fishing."
I said: "Well, I can't imagine you fucking, so we're even."
But seriously.
I might go fishing tomorrow, and hopefully I can't take photos for you to see.
I like to document my life like that.
I need to show you PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.
I need you to know that I am not always full of shit.
Now I know that I've probably posted that photo before---I repeat myself like a mutha...You should meet me in person, it's horrible---but that's just some photographic evidence that my father lives across the street from the beach.
Well, that really is no evidence at all.
But I took that last spring, I think.
Crazy ass bird.
"Like one of his stuffed birds..."
