I haven't sold anything in over a week, I think, and I haven't done any homework in over a week, I think. I'm torn. I don't know what I should focus on: Etsy or school. I have no money coming in, but I also have no good grades coming in.
Decisions, decisions!
On another note, I'm listening to the Germs.
I've been put on buttons.
Apparently I'm in some sort of existential depression.
However, I've been doing alright since Friday afternoon.
(What the hell is an existential depression?)
How many computers do you have in your house?
Submitted by Foomper.
I have three computers: one laptop and two PCs.
(Why did I answer this? I couldn't resist.)
People go running/jogging everyday. There's nothing new about it.
But have you ever seen someone BEGIN running? Like, have you ever watched someone leave their home and go out onto the street and begin doin' their thang? I saw that for my first time on Friday morning. It was pretty odd, watching this guy leave his apartment, step off the sidewalk, take a few steps, and then just bolt.
It's like someone walking an imaginary dog, but instead they're being chased by an imaginary dog.
I have a tendency to put people's AIM screen names on my buddy list without them knowing I have their screen names. I've been doing that since I was 15.
I was trying to pack my apartment by myself today, but all I succeeded in doing was getting drunk by myself and listening to music really loud. I figured I would want some beer, so I packed four to drink. I called Emilie, my friend and neighbor, and asked her to make me a drink, too. (Usually she'll make me picon, a very good French drink with picon, white wine, and some other stuff; but she only had vodka and gin. So, I had a gin and tonic.) Good stuff.
I can't believe how much of a recluse I had become this summer. I wouldn't leave the apartment for days at a time; I'd stay holed up with my sewing machine, beer, and speed. Having spent some time away from my apartment and then coming back to it today, I can honestly say I was crazy this summer. All the little projects I kept myself involved in...all way too focused and insane. I was even trying to make a sort of satellite! (There was reasoning behind it, I swear, but saying it outloud, explaining what I was doing to others, it sounds crazy.)
I feel weird. I'm hoping I can keep my apartment. I really love it. I don't mind that I only have window units and that the apartment is dusty. It's hella nice and great and in between Rice and my school and behind the CAM and in walking distance to the other museums and it has a nice courtyard and the neighbors are all friendly and just so much fun.
All the rain today and tonight is sorta nice.
I'm watching 'Fresh Prince'. The episodes are really weirding me out. I've seen them before, but they just seem so much different right now. The characters are darker, not their skin, and it seems much more lonely and depressing. I dunno.
I think it's just been a weird weekend, and the fact that I actually went out last night and had fun messes with my head. I'm so used to staying home alone and drinking beer.
In one of the classes I'm taking, the professor always begins with the "Our Father" prayer:
Our Father, who art in heaven; hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come;
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our
daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who
trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation; but deliver us
from evil. Amen.
Today I decided to listen to others as they prayed, to see what sort of mistakes were being made, and this was the only one I heard:
Our Father, who art in heaven; hallowed be Thy name; Thy Catholic come...
On an unrelated classic rock note, "Stairway to Heaven" is NOT the song I wanted to hear on the drive to school today.
P.S. Because I was listening to mistakes people were making during the prayer does not mean I was looking for any sort of weaknesses in others' devotion to God. I was just looking for mistakes.
My ethics professor was wearing this shirt that had this print that really depressed me: it had these little baby angels on it, and it was light blue and pink---it was all very innocent-looking. I don't really know why it depressed me, though. But I think it might have been the thought that my professor made this conscious decision to buy this shirt with the little baby angels on it, a shirt that obviously belongs in kids room or something, and to wear it. She was wearing it while she was talking about abortion and rape and informal/formal authoritarianism and utilitarianism. It just depressed me. It reminded me sorta of 'Batman Returns' when Michelle Pfeiffer first goes crazy and she's going around her apartment, freaking out, tearing everything up. And she opens her closet and sees this t-shirt that has two kittens on it, and she takes a can of spray paint and sprays/blots the kittens out. It's such an innocent shirt, but it was made ugly. So, maybe my ethics professor figuratively spray painted her shirt black just like Catwoman. She made those little angels grow up real quick. I dunno, whatever.
