THREE THINGS PLZ!

1. I had a dream that I was on a talkshow hosted by Roseanne. And she had me do a duet (a truet? What do you call it when there are three people?) with her and Elton John. We sang "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction".

2. What sparked the events in that dream was what happened the night before in the dream: Lezzie and I went to a party that had karaoke. She went dressed outrageously and told people her name was Brad Pitt. (She was claiming to be the post-op Brad Pitt.)

She first told people this in a drive-thru line at Jack in the Box. (But for some reason we were standing in line.)
I wanted two tacos for 99c. And a Lipton iced tea. No sugar. The way I like it.

I went to the cashier lady and said, "I want two tacos. For 99cents."
(And it was this cashier lady that I first encountered in NYC at the Burger King across the street from Ground Zero. She was the MEANEST fast food employee I'd ever come across. She yelled at the customers if they didn't come get their food fast enough for her. And she was really mean to you when you ordered. Anyway, NOW she was almost sedated or something, wasn't mean at all. And now she was working at a Jack in the Box in some part of Houston I'd never been to before.)

I think Lezzie got jealous about my going on the Roseanne talk show to do that three-person duet.

3. OKAY. This one is for real.
Here are some photos I took yesterday when I went walking alone on the beach. I'm trying to figure out how to use the Minolta XD-5 my younger sister's fiance let me borrow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I took the roll of film to the 1hr photo at CVS.

But I didn't get them until 2 and a half hours later.

So, I asked the girl, "You're not really going to charge me for 1hr photo processing, are you?"

And so she looked around to see if a manager was around, saw none, and then shook her head.

 

 

OH, I KNOW WHAT WOKE ME UP THIS MORNING...
(This can be the #4 we don't talk about or include in the title of this blog...)

**********PLEASE DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!**********

 

 

 

 

I woke up thinking about how gross coat hanger abortions are.

And I guess it was a sort of dream or something because there was this girl talking about how sometimes the baby comes out screaming, "No! MOMMY!" And she was talking about how sometimes you have to punch the baby until it's dead.

Ugh.
Gross.